I am not oblivious to the fact that people go into relationships for many short-term reasons, but if you are in a relationship for the long term with marriage in view then it is important to start questioning if your relationship is preparing you for marriage.
Our world has become a place where marriages are not delivered the soft landing to succeed. Everything and everyone calls for your attention. The job which keeps a lot of people busy but leaves them broke. Friends and friends of friends who want you at all of their parties. The numerous programs planned to take place on public holidays to further deprive you an opportunity to rest. Then there is the phone that keeps us distracted. Hence, your relationship is not preparing you for marriage if you are too busy to spend time together. Marriage brings more people into your life. The more people you have in your life the more responsibility you have and the more responsibilities you have the lesser your free time. The relationship is your opportunity to develop a culture of hanging out. You must be consciously committed to spending time together, loving each other and having fun. Else, your spouse whom you love so much will become the person saddled with the responsibility to understand why you are not there for him/her and when your spouse cannot understand, he/she becomes the enemy.
Having established the importance of having fun and spending time together, you must keep in mind that all the fun and hangouts must not be at the cost of saving for the expenses that awaits you in marriage. Your relationship is not preparing you for marriage if all you and your spouse do in your relationship is spend without saving. One of the easy ways to poverty is to delay savings for when you have enough resources to set aside. Marriage will never be as cheap as a courtship, especially the marriages with children. Children are no doubt a blessing but the moment they enter your life you lose the ability to enjoy the prescribed eight hours sleep. They sap you of emotions, energy, and your hard earned savings. They are the wonderful guests that come into your home and become a permanent part of it. But, nothing makes a parent more miserable than being unable to meet the needs of their kids, so don’t wait until the children arrive before you start thinking about providing for them.
It is too late to start learning how to pray together when you are already married. Thus, if your relationship is not encouraging your growth in spiritual things it is not preparing you for marriage. Marriage also increases your need for prayers. You should develop the skill to pray together and receive answers while you are in a relationship because you will need it when you get married. You need to share your understanding about the scripture with one another so you can be sure you are in agreement about spiritual things.
I often tease my husband about so many things we missed out of during courtship. We never had any special dinners safe for the joyful, warm but cheap ones held in our churches. We didn’t travel or do anything special that had financial implications. But, what we had was communication and a bond fuelled by God, passion, vision, purpose and love. The bond we developed made it difficult for us to take each other for granted even after we got married and had children. The bond we share makes it impossible to forget birthdays or anniversaries. Our bond makes it easy for one person to know the other is worried about an issue even when no word has been said. I am yet to find the definition of a perfect relationship because I believe no relationship is perfect. But if you are in the relationship because you intend to get married to your partner someday, you need to focus on building a bond that will make every storm that arises in marriage surmountable.
