By Oluwole Leigh
In the last few weeks, we have witnessed a couple of controversies involving some Nigerian Pastors on Social Media. The first case was said to involve a Pastor who was said to have promised to lay hands on anybody who had Ebola and heal such a person. The Pastor was said to have claimed that no virus could stand the power that was available to him when an infected person was prayed for. The 2nd case involved another pastor who was said to have dished out marriage advice that was deemed to put women at a disadvantage. Some of the advice was said to be anachronistic and did not appreciate the complexities faced by modern marriages. The 2nd Pastor was accused of dishing out one-liners that were supposed to serve as commandments for women who were reading his messages. The third case did not involve much controversy but it reflected the views of a Pastor who had been the recipient of a couple of verbal attacks online. She was involved in an initiative that was a reaction to a burning national issue. Some of her followers felt her initiative was not strong enough to effect much social change and questioned its usefulness.
For the sake of this discourse, I will call the first Pastor – Pastor A, the second Pastor – Pastor B and the third Pastor – Pastor C
N.B:
This advice is given free of charge. Those who enjoy this message are encouraged to send some bitcoin into my account.
I will ask God to forgive me (GFM) at different parts of the write up.
1. We are all mates
It is necessary for our spiritual leaders and theological luminaries to understand the fact that everyone on Twitter / Facebook is your mate. A Username or Twitter handle is a leveler. There is no special status assigned to Pastors and Bishops. The addition of titles in front of your name does not confer any special status on you. The limit of 140 characters on Twitter cannot be changed by any spiritual power, which you claim to posses. This is just the way it is. It is highly likely that either your personal assistant or your daughter who came home for summer opened your Facebook or Twitter account. You have no special status here. Most importantly, all the ‘Touch not my Anointed’ threats will not work online. Even though those gimmicks may be working offline, no one is scared of you over here. Folks here will abuse you, reply to you and still attend your services. We are not ‘honored to have you here’. I know Pastors are used to having their physical presence announced and mentioned a few moments before they arrive at an event. The honor and respect, which your members pretend to give you, cannot be translated online. Pastor C in the above example would not have felt insulted if she read these ground rules before coming online
2. You are the reason for the season
It is necessary for Pastors to understand that they are partly responsible for the popularity of mediums such as Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. People are sick and tired of the commandments and edicts they dish out during Sunday services and mid-week services. People are tired of being monitored and snitched on by other church members. They have come to find refuge on Facebook and Nairaland. Instagram gives them the opportunity to scope those chicks you have been preventing them from talking to. You placed a hedge around all the fine sisters in church that can only be broken by brothers of your own choosing. Unfortunately, those hierarchies don’t work in the online world. Here, they can create their own persona, redesign their own image and cultivate some followership. Those who are as poor as church rats in reality are popping champagne bottles online. Those who are as holy as ’the woman caught in the act’ are now spiritual advisers online. That’s just the way it is. Unfortunately, you have decided to leave your divine commune and your ecclesiastical habitations to jump into the timelines of the folks that are running away from you. They will not go down without a fight.
3. Study to show yourself approved
Pastors and Bishops need to spend at least 3 months studying interactions on Social Media before jumping into the fray. There are dynamics in play that you will never understand if your phone is always with your personal assistant. Online interactions are based on sharing. People give out parts of themselves in exchange for parts of others. They are ‘blessed’ when they feel they get affirmation from others that they have probably never met. The feedback process is ingrained into social media interaction. This is totally different from what obtains in religious habitations. Church messages can at best be described as One-way traffic. The Pastor declares his words, prays and you head to the tape stand to buy the tapes. This system, which involves downloading your thoughts onto your followers, cannot work online. You will be shocked when you discover that your teenage daughter has unfollowed you and you cannot do anything about it.
4. They have followed other Gods
After you’ve spent some time online, you will discover that your members have followed other gods. Some of these gods have names like Kim Kardashian, Linda Ikeji, Omojuwa, Chukwudubelu, Don Jazzy and El-Rufai. While you command their attention for a maximum of 5 hours in a week, these new gods are in constant interaction with your members. It is possible that you may have noticed your members laugh or cry during service. I assure you that it was not the power of the Holy Ghost at work. (GFM) It was probably an effect of the latest tweet from El-rufai or pictures of Omojuwa proposing to his girlfriend. These are the unseen forces that you have to contend with. Whenever you pray against principalities and powers, kindly address these prayers to the appropriate twitter handles.
5. No Paddy for Jungle
It is not strange to find church members being encouraged to share and re-tweet messages from their pastors. Pastors believe think that the act of retweeting these messages is similar to the act of sharing tracts and handbills. I suspect it also gives the Pastor some sense of belief that his members are loyal. During one of the episodes described above, I noticed that some of Pastor B’s members disappeared during his travails. They abandoned their Pastor to the ‘subs’ of the heathen, (GFM). I find it hard to believe that they all fell asleep at that time or their phone batteries ran out simultaneously. An analysis of the situation would reveal that the unfaithful members did not want to be identified as Voltrons.
The word ‘Voltron’ is taken from the popular cartoon series that used to air many years ago. Voltron’s popular byline was ‘Defender of the Universe’. These ‘Judas-like’ members simply did not want to be called Pastor B’s voltrons. This is why they abandoned him in his time of tribulation. This was also the same situation that was faced by Pastor A. One of the demands of organized religion is faithfulness and loyalty. Pastors are gradually coming to the realization that these member aren’t loyal.
6. Facebook !== Twitter
It is necessary that Pastors understand that Facebook is different from Twitter. Facebook enables you to convey your messages with an abundance of words and pictures. Most of the time, people are busy liking pictures and posts on Facebook. You may be easily deceived into thinking that people like you based on your Facebook Interactions. Apart from this, Facebook also de-emphasizes anonymity. It is easy to track people by their pictures and their friends. Twitter does not offer these qualities. You have to pass your messages across in 140 characters and you can only hope they are understood. A twitter handle comes with a lot of anonymity. You cannot find out who a person is based on her followers. As a result of this underlying sense of anonymity, Twitter creates an environment for people to easily launch attacks. These attacks cannot be traced to any individual. Some of these heathen folks control about 10 twitter handles with which they carry out their operations. You may think their actions are diabolic while they are just having a good time. I am not sure that any spell or curse thrown at these handles will affect them. At worst, their Tecno phones will explode.
7. Understand the Times and Seasons
Pastors need to understand the importance of Context when passing across information. Messages and Tweets without the benefit of context are no different from arrows that are shot in random directions. The message that is passed across to your followers or online friends is more important than the message you sent to them. The story that got Pastor A into trouble is not a strange one to most Christians. People such as John G. Lake, Smith Wigglesworth, Kathryn Kulman are icons in Pentecostal folklore. I guess the plan of Pastor A was to inspire his listeners and encourage them. However, he decided to title his post ‘Solution to Ebola’. In the midst of widespread panic and fear about the effect of the disease, many folks assumed that he was asking people to endanger their lives by touching others infected with Ebola disease. Pastor B’s encounter involved a marriage series that he started on a Sunday. On the first Sunday of the series, he spoke to the male folk and gave them advice on their responsibilities in Marriage. The messages to the men were sent out on the evening that the World Cup final was played. Pastor B continued his online message series a week later but directed it to the females. These messages were taken out of context, retweeted and attacked by many readers. While Pastor B may have had good intentions, it should have been clear to him ordinary folks did not place his tweets at women within the context of those that had been directed to the menfolk. Another oversight on the part of Pastor B is the fact that some parts of his tweets were bound to be misunderstood. A message such as ‘Make the bed, Thank You’ comes with a lot of historical baggage and resonates in all the wrong places. It reminds his female listeners of years of domestic servitude that other females have endured. Though few in numbers, those words take them to a place they would rather not go. These are some of the unwanted effects of Pastor B’s attempt at Tweet-storming.
8. This too shall pass
One of the effects of social media is the Phenomenon called ‘Trending’. Social Media fanatics are in constant need of a high at every point in time. There’s the innate desire to be on top of the latest gist, breaking news or trending event. The desire for trending news coupled with a bandwagon effect leads to an explosion of sorts. It is not uncommon to find everyone occupied by a burning issue and drop it once it’s cold. Any bit of reigning news will have its time and will eventually fade away. Nothing lasts forever. The people that are laughing at you today may only be doing that because you are trending. You will be shocked to discover that they become your loudest supporters in the following days.
9. Keep it real
A major issue faced by our Pastors on social media is the struggle to separate their online persona from their Pastoral aura. They often find it hard to connect to issues happening in the larger society. They find it easier to hide behind bible passages, parables, prophecies and Wisdom quotes. They have to be made to understand that online folks are seeking to make connections with real people. They probably do not want to connect with a person whose humanity has been subsumed under a sense of divinity. If we take a good look at Pastor A, he’s someone who has an accounting firm named after him. Yet, he has not bothered to contribute to discussions related to the finance industry. No one is asking for a 100 pager. A few lines showing that side of you would do. From various accounts, Pastor B is a cool guy that you would like to have a conversation with. I hear he’s the kind of guy you could grab a beer with (GFM). It is hard to see any reflection of his ‘coolness’ in his online persona. As a medical doctor, it is not out of place to expect Pastor B to talk about health issues especially in the midst of a nationwide medical strike. There are many ways of talking about issues that affect people in our society. All you have to do is to find a way to connect to your audience without giving them the impression that you’re conducting an online service.
10. Everything will be tested
We live in the age of verification and testing. People are wired to find the background and the source of statements that are made. If there is any information hidden within Google, it will be fished out. It is therefore necessary that Pastors realize that their followers will verify every story or claim. A google search on the minister mentioned by Pastor A would reveal the fact that his career in Africa was filled with controversies. His church ministry, which operated in South Africa, was said to have been involved in segregation. He was accused of misappropriation of funds and staging of miracles. While Pastor A may be ignorant of these parts of the story, an online search will bring this information into the open. Another side effect of verification and testing is misinterpretation. For example, the theme of a church program is called ‘Empowering your Manhood’ or ‘Power in your Loins’. While the church’s desire may be to improve the lives of their male members, such a theme could acquire a different meaning. People like me whose minds are in need of Salvation may feel that program is designed for men suffering from some form of erectile dysfunction (GFM). This is the world in which we live in.
Selah.
