Let’s Talk About Sex!

Sex Myths – 8 issues on sex that just isn’t true!

 By Joy Isi Bewaji

 The bigger the better: A man’s ability to please a woman has very little to do with his size. Women are tickled by foreplay more than the actual ride, so it is in his talent and not really on his gift. If he is aware of your pleasure spots, then it will be worth your while regardless of his size. If he is all well-endowed and clueless, then his enormity counts for nothing. Better be creatively endowed than physical.

The bedroom is such a cliché: No, not really. It can be boring if you have sex only in one particular place, whether it is the bedroom or kitchen cabinet! The bedroom seems such a bore because it is the most likely place to have sex. But boredom can set in on any location if you do not branch out and explore other sites. The bedroom is still the most comfortable place to have sex; it’s left for the couple to realise that comfort doesn’t always count when you need to make records in ecstasy!

Women do not experience multiple orgasm: Not true. Women experience sexual pleasures a little different than men. Women can have as many sexual highs as possible in a moment of sex. Men experience that one earth-shaking high, but women can have little highs in between before climax.

Men want to be in control always: Most guys don’t mind turning the tables around during sex. They are willing to let the women be in charge. Sex could be their moment of submission, and there isn’t any shame in that. A man might want to rule the world, but when it comes to sex, sometimes, he is willing to bend the rules.

Lovemaking ends when the curtain falls: Not so. Women expect their men to strike up a 5-hour conversation, while men are prone to turn around and snooze away or take a shower. Small talk and cuddles can be soothing after sex; the small notes, air-kissing, and dinner by the lagoon are all part of continuous lovemaking. Sex is not just an event, it should be a way of living. These are ways of showing that special person you care.

Men want sex more than women do. Wrong. The reason why men tend to be more upfront about their sexual needs might have a lot to do with their positions as ‘Male. Heads. Pilot of the plane. Captain of the ship.’ Status society instil in them. Women are usually more reserved; and in all sincerity, are juggling a lot more responsibilities than the men. A man provides, no doubt, but that might just be the core of what he is required to do, while the woman tends to the children, home, husband, and still keep a day job or a thriving business to support the man. So yes, women are easily exhausted. Plus, hormones make us feel like having a lot of sex during certain times of the month, rather than all of the time. And, because we tend to attach more emotions to sex than men do, we aren’t going to beg him for action if he’s been giving us an attitude.

If you have to plan sex, and it isn’t spontaneous, something’s wrong. Spontaneous sex is usually good sex; and planned sex can be just as good. There’s nothing wrong preparing for what is to come. He doesn’t always have to rush in through the door, grab your butt and kiss you all the way to the bedroom. Sometimes both of you would have sat down through how you want it and what time it works best. Spontaneity creates a lot of excitement and bubbly hormones, but planned sex still has a lot to offer, especially for couples who have come to understand their duties, schedules, and desires.

Men are always ready for and want sex. If you’re talking a 17-year-old who’s just landed his first girlfriend, you’re probably right. It’s likely he will walk, talk, daydream and want to have sex every waking second (and when he’s asleep as well). But once a man hits his mid-30s, other parts of his life start to become equally as important as sex, and all that energy and focus is needed elsewhere. Real life dampens a lot of men’s sex drives – work, stress, pressure, bills, arguments… they all stop him (and you!) from feeling like sex all day, every day. He’s not like a vibrator; you can’t just plug him in and expect him to perform on cue. He’s got emotions, and sometimes he really doesn’t feel like having sex, no matter how hot you think you look at that moment.