By Chris Ihidero
Isunkrimus, Irinranmus: Ta ba nsunkun, a maa ri ran; eyin le pe eyan ni were e tu so pe o n ranju; ta ni o ba ranju bi o ban se were? – Abass Akande Obesere (Omorapala, African Fuji Michael Jackson etc)
The quote above is perhaps best translated as ‘You can’t call someone a mad man and then be surprised that he is wide-eyed.’ I am not sure that will make a lot of sense to you, especially if you don’t speak Yoruba that well. Anyways, it’s the best I can do. I can’t come and kill myself over translation.
Now, where were we? Oh yes, on the tearful face of journalist, publisher of Ovation Magazine and former presidential aspirant, Otunba Dele Momodu. Recently, this senior journalistic colleague had deemed it worthy to show his tearful face to the world via his Instagram account. I am not on Instagram (don’t ask why) but my concerned friends ensured that I glimpsed these very revealing pictures. Let me describe these pictures for the benefit of those who haven’t seen them.
In the first one, his sad, puffy eyes and tearful face fill the screen, his lips part slightly in agony. In case this image does not capture the full weight of a sense of tragedy he wants anyone who sees the picture to feel, the good Otunba exalts himself in a caption underneath: ‘If there was a crying competition, I would have won a gold medal bec[ause]I feel easily moved by human…Like I did at Goldie’s funeral.’ In the second one, his tearful and puffy eyes make another appearance. This time though, his lips are clamped shut. A pair of headphones adorns his bald head. Tears line his face. Again, there’s a caption for full effect: ‘I wept watching Dupe Abiola, MKO Abiola’s daughter on BBC’s Dragon’s Den…God bless her family.’ I do not doubt for a second that the good Otunba genuinely felt a sense of sadness at the events that prompted these emotional swells and the tears are real. I bet they will be salted if tasted. What I find bewildering is the need to make a public spectacle of what should be a private business. Isn’t this akin to a case of the visitor who cries louder than the bereaved at a funeral?
Some of my cynical friends have said that this public presentation of tears is Otunba Dele Momodu’s strategy for Aso Rock in 2015 and, seeing that his votes at the last election could not have brought him victory even at ward level, he needs an early start. He’s going to cry himself to power, literally, that’s what they say. Remember that President Obama‘s ratings jumped after crying for the children killed at that school shooting in America. After he cries himself to power, these friends of mine insist, he will then rule this country through tears, demanding that all citizens pitch in too. So, rather than finding a solution to power failure, for instance, we shall all gather, our president leading, and cry PHCN in efficiency. Rather than build good roads, we shall fill pot holes with salty tears that will subsequently solidify and we can then drive on roads tarred with tears. This unique system of governance is expected to overtake Nollywood as the most significant idea out of Nigeria, nay Africa; just imagine how many world leaders will swiftly follow suit…
My other friends have risen in Otunba Momodu’s defence, insisting that he’s at least doing something, even if it’s flooding Instagram with tears. What, they ask, should be said of someone like Femi Fani-Kayode who, they say, only succeeds at constituting an intriguing nuisance these days? The other day, my friend informed me, he got a rare invitation to the house of the Daemon of Bourdilon and God of Lagos State, Jagaban Ahmed Tinubu, and FFK couldn’t help but tweet his joy at sloshing with political bigwigs. I do see some sense in this, truly. Going by his recent rants and writings, it is easy to see that paraga, rather than champagne, has formed a larger part of FFK’s liquid diet.
In all of this I stand firmly in Otunba Momodu’s corner. A man should have the right to cry to his heart’s content if he chooses. Some of us wish we could cry sometimes and if the Otunba has chosen to do it on behalf of those of us who don’t know how to cry, who are we to complain? Besides, women love emotional men, no? As for the accusation that he’s merely seeking attention; well, we are in the era of social media and it’s his Instagram account!
In fact, I shall now write a caption in anticipation of his next tearful Instagram picture: ‘I wept just now as I received my INEC nomination form; I can believe that after my abysmal performance the last time they would let me contest again…God bless Nigeria.’
Sob, sob, sob…till infinitum.
