Ask Tosyn: Is It Possible For A Boy And Girl To Date Without Having Sex?

Hi Tosyn,

Let me put it simply. I’m in my early twenties, dating a wonderful guy who sadly just lost his job, and i am pregnant.

What should i do?

M.

Hi M,

Here’s a tough one because i feel there is something you are hoping i would say, but i also think you may have already made your mind up.

First, i would have loved to know if you were still in school or if you were working or in transition. You say early twenties so let me assume you are in school but possibly have some work on the side.

As for your boyfriend, what kind of job did he have before he got fired? And what does he do now for money in general?

I think you should speak with a member of your family that you are very close to. A sibling or parent, whoever has the best listening ear, who will be ready to listen and also comfort you. Even though your tone is borderline flippant, i am guessing you are a lot worried and sometimes keeping things as a secret can do that to you. Of course, you also need someone who will keep that secret till you are ready to s.h.a.r.e  it with the world.

Next up is your boyfriend. I guess you worry about stressing him since he is currently unemployed but the truth is, this is about both of you. He needs to know, and have a say. This is not to say you have to do exactly what he says if it goes against how you feel or what you believe. But let him know.

Remember, the two most important people in this situation are you, and your baby. Decisions you make must be for both of you.

And i have to turn spirikoko…. Pray.

Please keep me updated.

Hi Tosyn,

I saw you asking about dry hands on twitter. I also suffer from that! Got tips for me?

Alayo

Hey!

Dry hands and lips can be so annoying right?

What can’t i do without? Vaseline! Great for the lips, and i would have said the hands as well but the thing is, it can get sticky and also attract dirt and all!

So, you need some really good moisturising lotion. Just apply it when  your hands are almost-dry  and it lasts longer. You should also carry a small one around to re-apply when you wash your hands during the day.

A friend of mine also recommends sea salts. It exfoliates and makes the hands soft. Scrub with the sea salt then rinse off.

And finally,  splurge and treat yourself to a spa treatment once in a while. They will massage your hands and oil it well well for you! (There’s a voice in my head saying ‘oshamo’ at this point).

Tosyn,

My friends keep teasing me and telling me i am fooling myself. Is it possible for a boy and girl to date without sex?

Tobi

Yes o!

Contrary to popular belief, no, Not everyone is doing it!

There is nothing wrong with dating someone without sex being attached. I have heard it argued that sex actually muddles things up.

So don’t have sex just because people mock you. Have sex because you want to, and are ready for it!

SIGN OFF: I am starting to get a lot of interesting questions! Feel free to send me an email (Asktosyn@thenetng.com) and ask anything you want… I always have an opinion!