By SheiFunmi Nomia-Yusuf
I am angry, sad and hurt… so many questions running through my head but I cannot ask, going by popular phrase ‘You Can’t Question God’.
My dear friend ‘Zara’ always tried to be in good spirit despite the pain she was going through, she held on to the faith of recovery and good health. I would have said it was a little faith but that’ll be a big lie because she loved the Lord and believed in him. On Sundays when I don’t go to church, she’d punish me for it by ignoring me all day and scold me later on at night via BBM Voice note.
Despite fighting ‘Multiple Sclerosis’, she constantly checked up on family, friends to make sure they are okay, looked out for them when it should be the other way round. Who laughs about falling from a wheel chair? Only Zara! She never wanted anyone to be sad for her or sad around her, teaching me to be grateful for the gift of life. Whenever anyone is sad about her situation she’d say ‘You better be glad I’m still alive’ living by the rule ‘When there is life, there is hope’.
Margret and I had plans; barely two months ago we talked about moving to Ghana and getting a place together. She wanted to get back to work, record new materials; bring something new to her fans regardless of the battle she was fighting, I also wanted to get back on my feet because I had not worked in a long while, stayed away from the public eye as a result of dealing with Bipolar Disorder, adjusting to medications and side effects. Zara felt it was better we lived together because we shared similar dreams, goals, we had lots of mutual friends, most of all we were great friends fighting every day, being each other’s support system. I found it odd that she wanted us to live together, giving the fact that I live with a disorder that puts me in a lot of triggered state, I don’t know who I am pissing off or how to get a hold of my mood episodes but she insisted we stay together and hire a help in the house, she was good at talking me out of my mood episodes, so I became okay with the idea but both agreed to get a manager first and like two months into work we execute the idea.
Zara was always aware of how empty this life is, she told me life is too short to stay mad at anybody, she taught me to share because you never know who’s life you are inspiring with yours. I never thought we would become friends not to mention having a close friendship were we talk about everything and anything. When I first met Zara, I thought she needed [In my own words] ‘attitudtional healing’ and felt the need to tell her to check her snobbish attitude towards me, this was in 2010 at the Enough is Enough walk, I landed in Nigeria a few days before the walk and my friend Warebi wanted us to go plus I thought it would be a lot easier to reunite with my industry friends there before disappearing again. When we got to the meeting point for the walk, I sighted Zara from afar; it was my first time seeing her and I liked her music, so I walked up to her being the celebrity stalker I use to be at that time but I guess I caught her in bad mood and decided to completely ignore me or maybe I was just the annoying gossip writer. During the walk, I looked back and she was behind me with her other celebrity friends, I found my way to her side so I can tell her how I felt but she was very nice, she also knew who I was. We exchanged contacts, kept in touch and started our journey to friendship, our meeting wasn’t spectacular but our friendship was.
I am missing you already…
Afrikim is missing you already…
I don’t know what to do or say, I’ve been quiet and blanked out since I heard the news. It is one of those moments where you become clueless, you are numb. I have heard people say they didn’t see any post, tweets or hear people talk about raising funds for Zara, which is some bother line bull you know what! There were tweets, posts, broadcasts, Tok Duttie was an avid advocate to raise funds for Zara’s treatment, I guess people didn’t feel the need to donate because they were unfamiliar with the illness. I can’t fathom why people refused to render help, then again economic situation bah?
Zara Marget-Mary Joseph I thank you for being a huge influence in my life, teaching me to find my own happiness, find me and utilize my skills. You showed me reasons to live, not to self-harm and move on from past horrendous experiences. Like you said ‘Rest is vital, you need it from time to time, especially when you are trying to be stronger than you are suppose to be’, I am sure you are getting that blissful rest, away from this painful world and you are were you don’t have to worry about anything, smiling from where you are saying it will be okay, all will be well. I will never forget you.
Goodnight Baby…
I love you.
