Why you shouldn’t believe even GEJ on ‘Being Mrs Elliott’

By Adedayo Odulaja

Not compared to that of Half of A Yellow Sun for obvious reasons but it must be stated that the buzz around Omoni Oboli’s Being Mrs Elliott has been loud, to the extent of being almost deafening.

Starring Omoni Oboli herself, Majid Michel, Ayo Makun (yes, the comedian) Lepacious Bose, Uru Eke, Seun Akindele, Bishop Imeh Umoh and others, Being Mrs Elliott was first premiered at the Presidential Villa in Abuja with President Goodluck Jonathan reportedly sitting through the entire movie and copiously commending it afterwards!

Whatever that, and the hype achieved for Mrs Oboli and her fellow producers, can and should not take anything away from the fact that this movie is well below par except for those not discerning enough to see the very obvious fault lines.

But as it is proper, let us take a look at the plot before crossing into the rocky lane of criticism.

The movie starts on the slow lane as we are introduced to Lara (Omoni Oboli), the rich, glamorous wife whose only worry is her childless state, and then her husband, Bill (Majid Michel).

We get to also meet Efe (Seun Akindele), young man in an intense relationship with Fisayo (Uru Eke).

An issue about the adoption of children of a late relative becoming a thorny matter between Bill and Lara is the highest point of action until we come across Efe, who, while working as a member of a fact-finding committee, refuses to hand over a list of oil bunkerers to a powerful and ruthless politician in Delta State.

Efe’s refusal leads to his being killed by the thugs brought by the politician after retrieving the vital documents from his apartment.

The gun shots startle Efe’s girlfriend, hitherto busy in the kitchen, who rushes to the living room and upon seeing how far the gun-wielding thugs are ready to go, runs for dear life.

Tired and confused while on a business trip, Bill seems unable to get a hang on his worrying, leading his personal assistant, a young woman into offering to help him get through a massage session to calm his nerves.

Earlier, however, Bill’s wife has become suspicious having heard the voice of a female while on the phone with Bill and she gets on a flight to Asaba, only to meet the assistant on top of her husband. Disappointed, Lara decides she must head back to Lagos.

Also ready to take a flight to Lagos at the same time is Fisayo, still running from the killers of her fiancée who are bent on hunting her down to prevent her from revealing their evil deeds. On seeing the same politician at the airport however, Fisayo resumes her running, bumping into Lara, through which an exchange of ticket takes place. Once the flight for which Lara miraculously got the ticket is cancelled, she decides to go by road to Lagos although there is no pressing need for it, leading to the two of them travelling together by road eventually.

The tragic accident that befalls them on the road leads to switching of lives, with both ending up in different settings due to her ring Lara hands Fisayo at the beginning of their journey is the thematic pillar upon which the entire movie is based.

That is as far as the believability goes for me and although there are bites of humour supplied by Bishop Imeh Umoh and Lepacious Bose who plays the role of Bimpe, the movie falters on many grounds.

Apart from the impossibility of a husband, married to a woman for months and years to be unable to differentiate his wife’s body even if the face is reconstructed, the director does a bad job of the geographical mapping for the movie.

How else does one explain the fact that an accident victim of a vehicle coming to Lagos from Delta State finds herself in Ikogosi in Ekiti State? Not Ondo Town or Ore in Ondo State or even Ado Ekiti or Omuo Ekiti or many such towns that easily link the Benin-Ore Expressway but Ikogosi, is perhaps the greatest error of judgement by all concerned with this movie and being a first time director doesn’t excuse that.

How also does one explain the angle of a hotel letting someone walk into a guest’s room without permission or informing the guest just because she says ‘I am his wife and I want to surprise him? Is that possible with the security-conscious Nigeria of today?

And with a long list of sponsors, the commecials are not neatly done or hidden but put in your face in a kind of way.

Without going further, do you now know why even the president shouldn’t convince you about Being Mrs Elliott? Or you don’t?