Tosyn's Ten 10s

By Tosyn Bucknor

1. Personal Space
Back to that customer you know who is at the counter…
Dear Banks, aren’t transactions meant to be personal? Why does the whole banking hall have to know our business?
(And dear fellow customers at banks, bustops and eateries Please. Respect personal space. This isn’t a club)
2. Queues are not suggestions
It’s really annoying when you go into a bank or an eatery and try to get on a queue and then not find one.
Sometimes there is one, but it seems there as more of a suggestion.
You know, like, well you can stay on it, but when we see someone we know, they’ll come right up to the counter anyway
Aaaaaargh!
3. Had a bad day?
Maybe so have we. So why are you serving me meatpies and frowns, shakes and attitudes?
4. ‘Or’ is a suggestion
If we order a drink, please don’t give us the diet alternative and act surprised when we insist on what we ordered.
You wouldn’t accept a 5 for a ten would you?
5. Cleanliness. O my.
Please, why aren’t the tables we eat at clean? Some bukas treat their places better than some of you ‘restaurants’.
6. Consistency
You go to a certain place because you like the service. So whether it’s how you attend to us or what you give us, we like for these things to look and feel the same (assuming they were good the first time round).
7. Do you even care though?
You don’t act like you do.
When we want to make a complaint, the manager becomes suddenly hard to find.
When we find the manager, instead of solving anything, he smirks a little.
We honestly don’t feel like anything gets done!
8. Yes we do want our change.
The funniest thing we see is when it is time to give us our change and you look at us like you’ve jazzed us and say, “we no get change”.
We don’t understand how you do not have 5’s 10’s, 20’s and 50’s ready for business. So you want us to leave our change?
Imagine if we did that daily?
Why don’t YOU forfeit the money we are meant to pay?
9. If you didn’t park us when we came in…
We like how you hide or sit when we park, then suddenly become traffic wardens when we’re leaving. We don’t even like to listen to you giving us instructions because you would probably just let us hit a car with your “back” “turn your hand” “turn am turn am” “oya come”
And no
It’s not Christmas and we’re not Santa
We can’t tip you all
10. Maintenance never killed anyone
Why doesn’t your toilet flush? Why don’t your sockets work? What happened to those lights? Or they only come on at night?
We get it, you have expenses. But please fix and maintain things. We beseech thee.