By Tosyn Bucknor
This week has been an interesting week for me. My friend Chris Ihidero has this theory about how the days after your birthday are your least favourable days. I hope one day he will break it down for you guys, While I was coming down from the high I went through during my birthday week, I learnt and re-learnt a few things.
1.) You can’t force someone to be with you
Some people will immediately assume I mean love-wise. That’s part of it. But it’s just anyone really. From family members to friends to colleagues. Ever met someone and thought to yourself, ‘o wow, I like you, you get me, we should be friends’. But somehow, they don’t seem to feel the same way and you never really become friends? It’s because you can’t force it.
2.) ‘the dreams in which I’m dying are the best I ever had’
Before you call the medics, please note this is a line from ‘Mad World’ by Gary Jules. Thanks However, I think a lot of people get tempted sometimes to ‘check out’ of life and rest. When it feels like you’re in a rat race and every day is exactly like the previous and the next, you sometimes just cherish the idea of rest.The only scary thing about that is no one knows for sure what happens when we die.
3.) You can’t have two pessimists at sea
This is a good rule of thumb for relationships, partnerships, and believe it or not, being at sea. Imagine two pessimistic people working together? Nothing’s ever going to get done. One person has to see the sunshine while the other sees the rain. One person has to see the rain while the other sees the rainbow. And to make it even better, you probably need a third. The one who drinks while the pessimist and optimist argue over whether the glass is half empty or half full.
4.) Why do mad people get to be happy and sane people worry?
Okay. I don’t know what goes on in the minds of mad people but don’t they seem genuinely spaced out and not present. Sanity means having to worry, think and act.
5.) Strangers become friends become lovers who then become strangers.
With memories. Ever met someone and years or months later think, ‘why did I ever say hi’?. A singer I like (Heather Hedley) has a song with the line ‘I wish I could go back/to the day before me met/spare my regrets’. It’s funny how strangers become friends, and then become strangers again. The difference is, now they have memories to deal with.
6.) Everyone is flawed
Pays to remember this.
7.) A thousand little things become one big thing
Ever tried to explain why you just want to quit your job? You’re like, ‘I don’t like the filing system, and the guy at the door, and the way they mispell my name, and…’ Pointing those ‘little’ things out makes you sound insane, but little things pile up. It’s like a drip really. Drip Drip Drip. It’s irritating. But soon enough, that drip becomes a puddle.
8.) Say what you mean and mean what you say because you do what you mean
More people need to live by this. The world is full of people who say things that don’t correlate with what they do. The clue is more in what people do than what they say because people end up doing what they mean even if they say something else entirely. Do your actions match your words?
9.) Closure is over-rated
Closure. That word people throw about. ‘I need closure’. ‘I didn’t get closure’. Closure is over-rated my friends. Closure just tells you what you already know- it’s over.
10.) You can’t lose what you never owned. Which is anything
If we can believe this and accept it, we would be so much happier. Think about it. You go for an audition and they don’t pick you. And your world falls apart. But did you own the part? Was it yours? Why does not having something you never had in the first place anyway make us so emotional? I’m subbing myself here. But maybe it could help you too.
