Men Are Evil Lying Nincompoops?

By Hazel

This wasn’t the way I had planned to start this article. I was going to come out with a bang (hmm, such an interesting word) since this is my first article on Nigerian Entertainment Today. I had it all figured out. I was going to start with something in this line – ‘I don’t know about you but I am tired of these Relationship and Sex articles that tell you how to run your life. ’10 Ways To Get Your Man In Bed’, ’15 Things That Will Keep Your Man Faithful’. Really? Like they have their own ‘Paul The Octopus’ that tells them the exact way people should deal with issues in their relationships.’ But then, I read an article somewhere and I loved the way it was written so, I decided to try that instead!

‘You know, I think men are the worst kind of people on earth. Selfish ignorant fools. For example, a friend of mine just got heart broken by a guy she has been dating for over 7years!’

‘Really? How did you guys have this conversation when she is 6ft under! Oh, I get it, your sixth sense is up – you hear dead people!’

‘Oh come on, you know what I mean’

No I don’t. Trust me, I am very dumb. Please educate me, tell it to me like you would a 5year old. I think my brain didn’t mature past that age.

‘Oh shut up!’

Seriously! I mean, she could have been hurt, that I can understand but broken heart? Oh come on! It’s either I am stupid or the babe exaggerates a lot, which also means, she lies a lot (to put things in perspective) and if that is the case, I guess I can understand why he left after 7 LOONNNGGGGG HARD years of coping with her BS.

‘Really? You are on his side?’

Ok, I can’t remember saying that but let us pause for a second. So he got tired, so what? So she dedicated 7years of her life in-between which she had picked up his tux, the gown, the rings, the venue, menu, cake and even the IV has been designed, gosh, she had planned the whole wedding… in her head, and all he had to do was to wait for her at the alter but he had a change of heart. So what? Isn’t he entitled to that as she was entitled to plan the wedding the way she saw fit? So, because he is dating her, he isn’t allowed to view other pages on the web and maybe, just maybe choose to linger on this page a little longer and decided, ‘ok, I kind of like these apples more than the previous one.’ Women do it, does that make them ‘selfish, ignorant fools too?’

‘Who are you and what have you done with my friend.’

Look, I get the whole ‘he shouldn’t have left, he should have considered her feelings, why didn’t he try to make it work (even though he tried for 7years), she is hurting and her friends should be sensitive…’

‘Exactly and not the bull of crap you have been saying…’

What I don’t get is that after the initial ‘mourning,’ I think she should dust her ass, sit up and get over it. Why would she prance around like a zombie looking for some food and ears to growl into about how her heart was broken.

‘How can you be this insensitive? Do you think it’s easy to get over someone you truly loved? This is someone you have built a life with, gone through hell and back. Someone you have had ‘years’ of emotional investments in. Everywhere and everything reminds you of this person. Where do you begin to get over that? How do you start all over again?  I mean, it’s so hard to get back into the dating pull. I guess that’s why lots of people can’t just get up and move on!’

Ok, now you sound like you are your friend.

‘Seriously, people deal with hurt differently.’

True but all I am saying is that she should grow a pair (now, that’s a thought). I mean, he may even have cheated, shouldn’t she be thinking – good riddance! Heck he did her a favour.

‘Now you are talking, it’s his loss.’

Maybe, maybe not. Point is, it didn’t work out. Which to me says, it wasn’t meant to be, which is also a good thing because that means he isn’t the one. So all this crap about hearts breaking and all, isn’t it the same broken heart that she will use to love someone else or maybe she has spares that she uses when it is time to ‘fall in love again.’ Hmmm, the cat with nine hearts!

‘You know, I don’t get you, one minute you are the hopeless romantic I know, and the next you are this evil witch I don’t know where you came from.’

I am just stating that it is time we women stop seeing the bad in the end of a relationship and look at it as the beginning of something good to come.

‘Na you know o! My own bi say, men are evil lying nincompoops!’