The political and social climate around the world is slowly changing. People, especially women are becoming more open about issues relating to rape and sexual abuse. While the victim may not know what to do about the situation they may have found themselves, they’d need someone to listen to them and stand by them as they figure out what to do.
Here are five things to do if someone ever expects you to be the person that would listen and stand by them:
1. Empathise with them: You have to feel the person’s pain and empathise with it. If they feel that you can relate with or understand their pain, then they will be more open about what actually happened and you would be in a better place to help.
2. Tell them you believe them: When someone tells you they have experienced some form of sexual abuse, the best thing to do is tell them you believe them. It immediately humanises you. Once the victim is comfortable because they believe that you are on their side, you can now probe the story and make sure you have the facts right.
3. Condemn rape and sexual abuse: Immediately condemn the act. Make sure they know that you do not condone such actions. Let your disgust and irritation show without worry. You are allowed to hate, be disgusted and irritated by such animalistic actions.
4. Ask what steps they’ve taken since the rape: It is important to make sure that they’ve gotten checked up or filed a complaint. If the sexual abuse happened a while back, make sure they’ve taken steps to be healthy (mentally and physically). Also, ask them if they want to take legal action.
5. Encourage them to seek redress and help the right way: If the sexual abuse happened recently, encourage them to take legal steps and bring the culprit to book. Even if it happened a while back, still ask what they’d like to happen with the issue. No matter the difference in the time frame of the abuse, it is important to make sure they seek mental and physical help from the right sources.
Above all, you have to be ready to stand by them, support them and hold their hands through it all. If you do not believe their story, try steps one to three and gently remove yourself from the conversation. But, you must avoid belittling such a person’s story as that would make you a rape apologist.
Hopefully, this has been helpful. Share with friends and family as you may never know who needs it.
