16 things to do when your man starts taking you for granted

By Julia Austin

Life is too short to be with someone who doesn’t recognize how wonderful you are every day and show you that they recognize it every day. A guy isn’t necessarily a bad guy if he begins to take you for granted – unfortunately, you might have conditioned him to be that way, by being too available and easy-going. So, if it’s time to undo that conditioning, here’s what will have to be done.

1. Always be busy if he doesn’t plan well: If you two are dating and aren’t just hookup buddies, he should be asking you at least a day in advance to see you. If he gives you any less notice than this, always say you’re busy, even if you’re not. Make him learn that if he wants to see you, he’ll have to ask sooner. Remind him that others want your time, and you don’t save it for him.

2. Ditch him and take yourself on nice dates: If he invites you to another lame night at a bar with a big group of friends and hasn’t taken you on a nice date in a long time, say, ‘No thanks. I feel like doing something nice and treating myself tonight. I’m going to get a drink at a nice bar and take myself to a nice dinner.’ Make him see that if he doesn’t get on board with planning nice evenings, he just won’t get to see you as often. And make him worry a little – he should see that you don’t need a man to treat you. So he better make himself valuable to you in some way!

3. Do something that makes you the star: Whether this means joining a band, taking singing lessons and putting on recitals, doing standup comedy, do something that puts all eyes on you. Remind him that you’re wonderful, and that plenty of people are ready and eager to give you attention. So if you don’t get it from him, you might just go get it elsewhere…

4. Plan nothing for his birthday: When he starts trying to brainstorm ideas for his birthday party with you, act non-interested and say, ‘Whatever you want. We did so little for mine so I figured you didn’t need a whole big thing.’ Make him see that he gets out of the relationship what he puts into it.

5. Plan a girl’s weekend for your birthday: Since he hasn’t been planning anything great for your birthdays, without even consulting him, plan a girl’s weekend with your friends. Tell him you already booked it since he’s not into doing a lot or traveling, and that he’s free to take you to dinner before you leave.

6. Cancel on him: If he takes you for granted, he probably often puts other things like his work or friends or even alone time before the relationship. Do the same by means of canceling. Cancel because you’re tired and want a night to yourself, or cancel because your friends invited you to something really fun. Show him that the relationship has basically been surviving because you have been prioritizing it, and force him to pull his own weight.

7. Go on fun ‘dates’ with your male friends: He won’t take you to the symphony? Or on a cruise around the harbor? Or to an amusement park? So go with your male friends. Let him envision another man making you happy in the ways he is failing. Make him feel a little humiliated that another man is doing his job.

8. Withhold information…for a while: If something big happens in your life, don’t tell your guy for a while. Then let it slip one day and when he says, ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ say, ‘Well it seemed like you had too much on your mind to listen lately so I just went to somebody else.’ Make him feel left out, and make him see he did that to himself.

9. Dress up super hot…then leave the house: Remind him he doesn’t take you to do anything that warrants such an outfit, so the rest of the world gets to enjoy seeing you in it, instead of him.

10. Come to bed late: If he takes you for granted, he probably works on his laptop, or plays video games, or texts his friends when you’re in bed right next to him, instead of asking you about your day. But he probably doesn’t realize how much he enjoys just having you next to him. Make him realize it by staying up later than him. Make him realize he needs to give you a good reason to be in that bed, like a good conversation or some good sex. Otherwise, you’d rather read your book in the living room.

11. Make him initiate PDA: Many men don’t realize how much just holding hands and touching in public means to them, until it’s taken away from them. Then they realize other men could perceive you as single! Suddenly, they feel you don’t need them as much! Withhold PDA and see how fast he starts initiating it.

12. Be honest about how good the sex was: He probably thinks you just feel lucky that he desires you in the first place and pays enough attention to have sex for thirty minutes. Show him that is not enough and you might not be a return customer if he doesn’t start trying harder. When he asks if you orgasmed, if you didn’t, say you didn’t! If he asks how it was, say, ‘Mmmm. You could have done a bit more of this or that.’

13. Go on a trip by yourself: This will really make him think twice about the way he treats you. When you have a partner, ideally he should enhance your experience on a trip. So if you’re not taking your partner with you that tells him a lot. It says he gets in the way of your fun! And he’ll quickly start thinking of ways to enhance it, instead.

14. Pursue your passions: Just keeping busy and doing things you love will show your guy you have plenty of ways to fill your life without him, and it will make him realize he needs to prove that he is worth your time every day.

15. Suggest a break, since he’s clearly not up for a relationship: If you take a break, it will suddenly become very clear to your guy all the things you add to his life, because suddenly they’ll be gone! And it will show him that what you were getting is not enough for you to stick around.

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