By Morenike Nie Smith
I feel dirty. I feel used. I feel like jumping off this building. Every day I wake, it is the same thought that goes through my mind.
My childhood was that of a typical teenager. I played with my friends when the time was available, but I always remembered that homework was important. How else would I show I studied after school?
I had gone on a holiday to stay with my Aunt and it was one of the best holidays ever. She had promised to have a small party for me as I turned 13. I looked forward to the weekend as my birthday fell on a week day.
I had woken up and now that I remember I wish I never did. The day went on as usual and nothing ever pointed to what would happen. My Aunt had asked me to buy biscuits from the stall around the corner from the house. It was getting dark, but not too dark for me. I always ran to the stall and back. I asked Paul my cousin who was younger than me to accompany me. As we chatted, that was when I looked up and saw them; five hefty looking boys. They hit Paul on his head and he passed out. I screamed for help as they grabbed me. I wondered what the matter was. I was only thirteen. Did I take what was not mine? I turned to look at Paul, he looked lifeless. The slap across my face brought me back to reality. I begged for mercy as they tore my clothes, laughing and calling me names. I shut my eyes. My legs hurt as they forced them open and I heard them say ‘Na me go start‘…
That was when I opened my eyes and saw the half naked body over me and he hit me across the face for daring to open my eyes and just then I felt the sharp pain as he rammed into me. My scream stopped half way. I felt him being pushed away and a different one continued. All five of them violated my body. I felt nothing. As they ran away leaving me in my blood, I crawled home to get help for Paul.
I still feel nothing years after. All I see is black. My aunt warned that I tell no one. She secretly took me for all the tests available. Yet she said, tell no one. How can I tell anyone that I had lost my virginity to five boys? They would know how dirty am. I am stained, tainted. I am no good. I have no value. I am ashamed because I know it is my fault. I want out. I hate boys! I hate the girls who have never felt this pain. I hate the world.
This is one of the numerous stories that I have heard and I still cannot fathom the idea. Rape is vile. What drives the thought? I chose the story above because the child was just thirteen so the case of her being under dressed or being a cock tease does not come to play. We have lived in silence about rape and it is slowly eating deep. It starts from home they say, ‘charity’. The values we in still in our children will live with them. If we don’t, who do we blame?
I am no psycho analyst; I am just a concerned woman who has seen the effect of rape on the victim. Sometimes, we meet women who will never be caught with men. We judge them because we do not know what their experiences have been and why they have made certain choices. The victims who are not strong enough cave in to their fears. No matter how strong, the smell still stays with you. The flashes come and sometimes they are forced to die in silence because the society makes you believe it was your fault. I have heard some men call it ‘force within reasonable reason’. I have heard some women say, ‘why did she go to his house?’ ‘what was she doing there?’. These are not questions we should ask. Last I checked, ‘YES’ and ‘NO’ have totally different meanings. I am sharing the story above with you because I believe we can talk to her through this medium. She has started her healing because she has spoken. There is a cost for silence!
21 comments
The society has contributed to this by making it a secreat affair.
May her healing be complete IJN, I have a 13year old niece and I am always so overprotective over her cos of these stupid acts of perverts. Trust me there are some horrible sickos out there and the earlier they start getting punished properly for their sick acts, the better for all of us. I can remember going to the beach with my niece in long trousers and body top, nothing revealing in anywa but these stupid pervert slipped his fone into her hand just while I turned away briefly all for me to look back and see his fone with her and as she was just telling me what d boy gave her the fone for he snatches d fone and runs away unfortunately I couldn’t find him after then. I was soo mad. This man in question won’t be less than 30 years of age. May God save us all from horrible experiences
we nid to overcome dis bad habit to give our teens and youth great future
Good day columnist. I must thank u 4 giving a voice 2 people n issues like this,God bless u. 4 a man or anyboby to forcefull ve intercourse with another without d persons consent is outrageously wrong,hweva,5 matured guys rapeing a 13yr old; it’s no doubt satanic and evil(d culprits should b hanged). I think d problem here is that d law is nt helping at all. There should b a life sentence or death penalties 4 such culprits. Parents also need to wake up to their homely duty of proper up bringing of their wards. Also society should stop this their holier than thou attitude n stop stigmatising rape victims. God is watching us all o. Lets all change our attitude n help rape victims to heal. N 4 d 13yr old girl,i pray God to help her through this cus it’s no doubt,an horrifying experience. One’s again kp up d good wrk n God bless u real good
i never knew that a thing like this is incessant till i started listening to inspiration fm. honestly i wish pple will try to know GOD deeper so that this anomaly will be totally stopped.
dis is very annoying,hw cud 5 gangs of boys rape a young girl of 13 years old, the world is comin to an end., baba help us from dose o f the devil., ma advice for the girl may God heal ur wound nd ma advice 2 parents is to teach der chidren in the way of God and for the society @large stop the act of raping, for wat so ever u sow u shall reap
WE NEED TO JOIN HANDS TO STOP RAPING
We need to talk to our girls to stop wearing short clothes and following bad girls too..let mothers look over their children. God help us
I can’t just imagine a living man(guy) do such a thing when girls are every where
I believe there are forces behind rape.
I think maybe the government have a role to play by putting it to law “Any One Caught With Such Act be sentence to life in imprisonment’
Now to the victim i am very sorry about it
you just need to move on, God knows best.
This is happening because our focus have been shifted.Everybody on d run and no one to stay around and teach the children.For now,be cautious of what our society is and teach ur wards the fear of d lord.
Terible experience,but are u married now?. Just dat d way girl grow now is different d olden days,my advice for parents is dat let teach our child sex education
i feel your pain, trust me i’ve been that road
THE BIBLE MADE US TO UNDERSTAND THAT THE WAGES OF SIN IS DEAD. AND DONT FORGET THAT WHATEVER YOU SOW IN LIFE SO SHALL YOU REAP,MY DEAR FOLLOW WOMAN I KNOW IOT VERY HARD TO FORGET BUT I CAN I ASSURE YOU THAT THOSE PEOPLE ARE FACING ONE PROBLEM OR THE OTHER AND THAT THEY MUST BE PUNISH BY THEIR DEEDS, DONT WORRY MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE AND DONT LET IT WEIGHT YOU DOWN.REMAIN BLESS.
2 me al dis mess is al cause by unemployment n indesipline of boys.cos i bliv wen 1 is in is place of work,he wont hav time 2 think of al dis mess.pls boys let dis stop.
nobody wants to talk. the silence usually seems as the best option. mostly, the blame is on the woman. silent tears forever rolling in the minds of the eye. really, is there any one out there listening?
violence against women is a ugly crime dat is on d rise i Nigeria and its d stupid notion dat women and girls r jst objects for mens pleasure. poor girl! i hope she gets better. men and boys(especially nigerian ones) r dogs d stupids bastards need 2 b controlled.
Mrs. Smith, PLEASE keep writing. Your words illuminate the dark, sick world of rape. No one should ever have to be violated in this way, much less a little girl. All women who have been raped, speak out. Do not suffer in silence. Even if it was along time ago. My own daughter was raped. She accepted a ride home from someone she knew. Then she was locked in a room for several hours and raped. She has remained in slience for years, refusing to get help. If only I could have protected her. She was afraid to call me for a ride because she was underage and had drank a beer and didn’t want me to be angry. Mothers, I implore you…talk to your daughters and keep those phone lines open!
I honestly don’t have a comment because this has gone beyond just commenting;but ‘am going to say this little prayer to you,LET THE LIGHT OF GOD SHINE UPON YOUR LIFE IN THIS DARK HOUR….AMEN.
i pray 4 u dat God wil hill d pains, then did little boy rape 2?
I think that kind of guys doesn’t have sisters at home or they just coming straight from Hell cos if they had sisters they wont do like that to a 13yrs old girl which i consider as a sister to me or if they come to the earth from a mother then they would have think first before they do May God Bless the little sister.
May God heal all rape victims. Its traumatic, painful and devastating.
Hi,my name is Amah Njimogu,a coresspondent wit Enews Africa,Nigeria. We are doing a story on the rapid rate of rape in nigeria and i would like anyone who has been a rape victim to come out and let your story be heard…yes it is painful but you can also give an encouraging word to someone out there and also bring the pepertrators to book. Hope to hear from you soon,thank you.AMAH ENEWS AFRICA.08060316224