By Victor Enengedi
On Thursday, October 24, 2014, Nigerians woke up to the shocking news of the death of a former PMAN president, Mustapha Amego who passed away after battling with Colon cancer. Although Amego’s family is still grieving the painful loss, his wife Marie spoke with NET about some of the fondest memories she has of her husband.
How are you feeling?
We are doing okay
You just returned from the internment service. How was it?
It was really nice and a beautiful day here in Washington country, Maryland. It’s a beautiful sunny day and we started off with services at the mosque and then to the burial at the cemetery and then people gathered back in our house afterwards.
How was the turn out?
It was good. It was also a day for Friday prayers so a lot of people for Friday prayers came and the mosque was filled.
How is your daughter Fatemma coping with the whole situation?
It’s very hard because she is so young. She is 15 and it’s a big loss to lose a parent at such a young age. The words to describe it is really kind of hard right. You think about all the events that are going to be happening in your life- the graduations and wedding and things like that and your parents are suppose to be at. It is sad that her father wouldn’t be there to celebrate those days with her.
What kind of man was Mustapha?
He always had a great big smile. He was very warm and outgoing. He loved to be with people, people of different backgrounds and interests. It was amazing because I got to meet a lot of people that I didn’t know knew Mustapha, like the so many people from the different world he was a part of, whether it was people from the music industry or people who did media production or people in the community. The people from the Muslim community and so many different interests were all so fond of him because he was always interested in the development of persons and the community as well. He was such an optimist in the way he looked at life. He was very confident and had a ‘can-do’ attitude. Anything that’s possible, he believed he could do it.
What are you going to miss the most about him?
I’m going to miss so many things about him. When you asked the question, the first thing that came to my mind was that I’m going to miss his big bear hug. He was a very warm person and I think that’s something I would really miss. We used to talk a lot, we used have so many discussions about a lot of things. I would miss that. I would miss sitting at the dinner as a family and the music.
How exactly did you and Mustapha meet?
I worked at a video production outfit that rented out equipment, and had editing rooms and things like that. Mustapha used to come there very often to rent equipment. He always talked to me a lot and then one night, we were closing up a little late and he was like ‘I’m kind of hungry’, and I was kind of hungry too and then he just invited me to dinner. At dinner, I went to use the restroom for a minute and when I got back, there was a rose on my plate and I’m like ‘oh my God’. He is really spontaneous, like if he thought about something, he just did it. That’s another wonderful quality about him as well. Some people might hesitate in life and later think ‘oh I wish I had done that, I wish I had done this’ but he doesn’t hesitate, he just does it.
In the last conversation you had with him, what did you talk about?
We talked mostly about our daughter and his concern for our well-being in the future. Although we tried to make him feel good and convince him that he would get better, he seemed to have accepted his condition and knew there was nothing else that could be done. He was mostly concerned about us more than we were concerned about him. We know it’s never going to be the same without him.
When was the cancer discovered?
That was about two and half years ago
What measures for treatment were being taken during these period?
The doctors tried to do something surgically but the cancer was too big to remove. They actually went ahead to perform the surgery but found out that they couldn’t do anything. He started the treatments like radiation and chemotherapy. The cancer was caught at a very late stage. When it was first discovered, his doctors were surprised that he made it through six months later. When she first met him, in her report, she didn’t think he would make it through six months but he lived two years more than that.
Knowing that he had a very short time, how was his mood in general. Was he sad or afraid?
I think it would be unnatural if one weren’t sad or afraid in that condition. Normally, we all hope to get much out of life as we can and get as much time as we can. He didn’t really focus on that a lot. And then again, he is a very private person. I don’t think he wanted to tell everyone how exactly he felt, or be the focus of a conversation. He didn’t want the sympathy. He wanted to just focus on the good things and that was his own way of dealing with it.
Did you ever get to visit Nigeria?
No, we never did but hopefully someday.
So, do you have plans of making the trip someday soon?
Yeah, because we have realized what an amazing family Mustapha has. They have been so supportive with calls everyday and texting. He has an amazing family and so I want them to be a part of our daughetr’s life. They are her family
