By Hazel
‘I love sex. I talk about it, I write about it and I enjoy doing it. Even my connotations have sexual undertones. So you can rightly say that nothing can come between me and my sex’.
‘Yeah right! What if he is not at home and you are horny’.
‘What happened to sex toys? Have all the sex toys finished in this town?’
‘Distance nko? Abi you swing?’
‘Well, I guess you haven’t mastered the act of self touching. Who ever invented phone sex was thinking of me. He understood the need for technology in sex or love making if that makes this whole conversation bearable for you.’
‘Hmm! Talking about technology, I know a lady on twitter who tweets ONLY about sex. In fact, I hear people pay her to talk sex with them on Blackberry.’
‘Ewo! That is the woman after me own heart, chei! She must be a serious business woman who understands her target audience and the use of phone for sex. Ah! I love this babe.’
‘Are you crazy? That is prostitution in the highest order.’
‘See me see wahala o alias goody-too-shoes! Is there any physical thrusting anywhere?’
‘No!’
‘Is there any different sex body parts touching each other?’
‘No!’
‘Does this ‘Phone Sex’ happen on your own phone?’
‘No but she tweets about sex on her timeline.’
‘But the actual one that gets paid for doesn’t happen on your phone or does it?’
‘No!’
Then why exactly are your tearing pant (hmmm, nice thought) for another man’s business?
‘Any sexual act that gets paid for is PROSTITUTION, SIMPLE AND SHORT…’
‘It may be simple but not short o! Anyway, moving on… this woman uses what she knows best to make money right?’
‘Yes.’
‘But tell me, in the real sense isn’t that what we all do? In that case, we are all prostitutes since we all use our various talents to make a living, does that make us prostitutes?’
‘Don’t belittle this issue or rationalize it like that. The fact still remains that when you use sex to make money, it is prostitution and it is morally wrong.’
‘A friend of mine once said to me that all women are prostitutes since when our bfs or hubbys do something really nice for us, we immediately think of some sexual favour to do for him? Isn’t that some payment of some sort?’
‘She should speak for herself; I think that one is different.’
‘Or when they do something we hate, we starve them of sex, as punishment, isn’t there prostitution undertone in there somewhere?’
‘I disagree!’
‘Look, I understand that you may feel petrified by the act of this woman but that is the same way someone else will feel that all lawyers and advertisers are liars and that could leave them upset and saddened. But no one, no one sees that as morally wrong, yet, these people (advertisers) sell products with sex and hide under the umbrella of ‘sex sells, why not use it?’ and don’t get me started on banks and their female marketers or even the ones that insists that only fine babes will work in their offices and must wear short skirts’
‘That is different?’
How?
‘For one, they don’t disturb my timeline with such annoying sexual twits. Secondly, they don’t sleep with people for money or talk sex with people for money either, they sell the notion of sex not sex itself.’
‘You say potatoes, I say poreros. Besides, if the twits bothers you so much, what happens to your ‘unfollow’ button. Twitter is a freedom of speech circle, if you so hate what she twits about, then leave the circle but don’t go all 007 on someone’s freedom to express herself.’
‘I have no qualms with her freedom of speech I just don’t think it is right to twit only about sex and then have people pay for bb sex. I just think it is way too wrong.’
‘You know what I think? I think you like it but like every morally stricken person in this country, you are shy to admit it! Talk true eh-eh-eh, talk true jo!’
‘I take serious offense to such insolent accusation! In fact, I am done with this conversation!’
‘You know what? I think that everything you’ve said is your point of view and you are entitled to it as she is entitled to whatever she wants to talk about.’
‘Talk to the hands! (as she struts out of the room)’
