Society constantly pits women against each other. I mean, look at all the commercials on TV- from MTN to Hypo. There is always a young woman with a difficult mother-in-law she has to prepare a special dish for so she asks her own mother for help via skype, bla bla bla, or the young woman whose mother-in-law only started smiling once she walked into her house to see everything sparkling white, yada yada. As a result of the constant pressure from society for women to hate each other, another extreme is emerging and I like to call it forced sisterhood. It’s only natural that marginalized minorities always try to stick together, hence the women’s liberation movements that have continued throughout the centuries. These movements like feminism, womanism, and the likes have presented women a united front that is presently under attack all over the world.
Its undeniable that women are formidable when they unite and that they can bring about lasting change when they are in agreement but it is also undeniable that all kinds of people now hide under this universal sisterhood to propagate their insecurities and try to defeat the main aim of Equality or to overstep their bounds and put women through the very thing that women have been trying for decades to break free of. People hide under sisterhood to invalidate the choices of other women and their right to a free existence. In honour of Women’s month and the theme of this year’s International Women’s day- Press for Progress, let’s burst the bubble of forced sisterhood!
A few days ago, Khloe Kardarshian ‘tried it’ and the minions came for her. Apparently, women are supposed to hide in shame for the sins of their men and we’re all supposed to subscribe to a forced sisterhood or keep our mouths shut forever. Because Khloe’s man has been a shitty father to the child he had with another woman, Khloe has lost the right to hope that he’d be a great father to the child they are expecting together. This forced sisterhood is what we need to re-evaluate. You can’t like every woman because of their gender. The truth is, like we have in every species, there are horrible women and you don’t have to like them to be a member of the league for female empowerment. There are women who drag us back a million years with their words and their actions and you don’t have to like them but you can help them. There are also women who are so weak and settle for trash that no matter how much you love them, you can’t find any bone in their body to respect.
I was in a boutique last week to pick out a pair of jeans when I overheard a conversation between three women who were shopping for dresses. The older of the three tried on a very lovely chiffon dress that I would have taken off of her if it were not a size zero. Now, this slim and beautiful woman decided that the dress was too short and her friends didn’t think so, so she told them that the dress wasn’t actually too short for her, but she was so sure that her husband would think that it is too short. One of her friends, the chubby one with a lovely dimpled smile made a remark about people dressing for themselves instead of their partners (Sometimes that is not true), and Hanty turned to her friend and went off on a degrading tirade of how such views have kept her unmarried and unhappy “You’re not ready for marriage that is why you can’t find a man. How long are you going to continue like this?”
I froze. Chubby-girl-with-dimpled-smile froze
I was wondering how the conversation shifted to single-shaming and personal attacks when chubby girl grabbed her purse and stormed out. I did not like the slim lady just because she is a woman. I would not have liked her if she were up against a man with that sense of reasoning. We’ve all met women we clicked with instantly and the ones who were a bit too talkative or a bit too coy for our liking. So, much as you press for progress, don’t mistake humanity for forced sisterhood. By all means try to help all women and help them, remind your man to send money and gifts to his mother, remind him to send child support to his ex, be nice to your stepchildren and encourage him to be fair to be a good father to children he might have had before you met him. Do all these nice things for progress but never ever feel shame because it didn’t work out between him and another woman and you and he are the perfect couple, never hide your face because his ex-doesn’t like you.
A wise woman once told me that men love one another but they don’t offer fellow men free advice the way women do- its why they cheat and lie comfortably and their friends cover for them while women drown each other in unsolicited advice and even ask ridiculous questions like, “Her boyfriend is such a nice guy and she’s cheating on him, should I tell him?” The craziest mother I know, gave me her infant to watch while she went to have sex with a new man. I didn’t judge her; what I felt was pride that there is one honest woman in my life. “Sandra, don’t you want to know what happened?” she asked when I smiled at her and gestured to her sleeping child. I told her I didn’t care but I didn’t mind a great love story. My point is, even though you don’t agree with a woman’s choices, don’t impose fake rules of the sisterhood on her. When you see a woman committing a crime, try your best to alert the authorities because being a woman does not exonerate one from a crime
Celebrate womanhood but remember respect and space and don’t insult people on social media on account of their religion, sexual orientation, type of relationship or marriage they are in. most importantly, don’t get drawn in into the scam of forced sisterhood.
Take care of each other
This post first appeared on www.234star.com
Ⓒ Copyright NET News Ltd. All Rights Reserved. Please use sharing tools. Do not cut, copy or lift any content from this website without our consent.