By Ayeni Adekunle
I have a lot of friends scattered abroad – Austria, Canada, England, South Africa, Sweden, and all over the US.
In the kind of environment we grew up, going to London and America was a future ambition for everyone, and I remember how most of my friends in Awori College planned to relocate, by hook or crook.
We had a few neighbours who came home once in a while to inspire us, with their smooth skin, flashy cars, nice accent and all. Those ‘who couldn’t find the time to come’ would usually send home photos of themselves, looking well fed, posing with a Jaguar or Ferrari. I remember how our eyes would practically jump out of their sockets.
‘Why are they all so stingy though?‘ We would wonder, because as we found out, it was absolutely impossible to get any cash from any of these made men and women. ‘London people are stingy,’ we concluded, promising ourselves that when God answered our prayers and we moved abroad, we’d never act like that.
We didn’t know jack!
In a society where kids grow up believing anything or anyone Oyinbo is superior, would you blame the kid who, when asked what do you want to become when you grow up?’ answered, with a straight face ‘I want to go to America‘ ?
A lot of my friends from College and University have since found themselves overseas. Many legitimately, many, through all sorts of means I can’t begin to enumerate here. And they found out the truth before me – that God did not create Oyinbos superior to the blacks; that the streets are actually not paved with gold, and you actually have to work hard to survive; that most of the people who deceived us with photos of cars and houses back then were actually jumping trains and buses and living in council flats; and they couldn’t spend lavishly because they didn’t have a dime left after saving up to buy economy class return tickets and duty free gifts.
That’s not to say there are no success stories. I know a couple of people who are making remarkable impact in different industries in Europe and America and Asia. But there are far more who have been lured to move under the impression that you’re handed keys to a car and a house once you get off the plane, and that you can just pluck some money from a tree anytime you need to. Many have been lost, unable to return home in their sorry situations, hoping a miracle will happen. With several years gone by and nothing to show, they look back, compare notes with friends in Nigeria, and wish they did not relocate.
My first trip to England was on September 19, 2006. It was my first time out of Africa. I was already a promising journalist, and quite aware of the opportunities here, so staying back was totally out of the question. In fact, a year earlier, when I couldn’t get a visa, even after being accredited to cover the MOBO Awards in London, I was so upset I wrote an article criticizing the British High Commission here. When I found out the problem was that I was young and single, with no previous travel experience, and they were worried I may not return, I was even more infuriated and I wrote my mind in one 2005 article.
When the opportunity came to cover the MOBO again the next year, I turned it down. It would take the intervention of my boss
Kunle Bakare and my brother Ayo Animashaun to make me reconsider.
Since that first trip, I’ve been privileged to see different parts of the world, either as a working journalist, PR executive or tourist. I’ve spent time with friends living in these places, and my sermon has always been: you need to move back home. Using myself as case study, I’d usually preach about how there are countless opportunities here, and how our people can’t continue to struggle abroad, living from hand to mouth while South Africans and Indians take over all the goodies here.
I spent hours on the phone with Jide Sotunbo, a university classmate who has lived in the US for almost a decade, when he called to wish me happy birthday last November. All I wanted was for him to see how Nigeria is moving ahead, doing great things in media, IT, banking, telecoms, agriculture and entertainment, even without basic infrastructure. ‘You can become a millionaire in a few months, legitimately’ I told him. ‘And even if you don’t care about business or money, why do you want to continue living like a regular Joe there when you can obviously come here and make a difference?’
Jide, like everyone else I’d preached to, saw my point. Yes there are opportunities, yes Nigeria is growing, even if at below snail speed. Yes, it’s a great idea to move back and join the movement to rebuild our great country. But, they ask, what ís the use of all the opportunities, if I canít even live to see them? Then they talk of friends and colleagues who have returned home briefly to visit, only to be killed in road accidents, shot by stray bullets from Policemen, robbed in broad day light or even kidnapped in their own town? They talk about the absence of basic healthcare, emergency services, the corruption in the Police force and Justice system, and how we have zero value for human lives…
The conclusion for most of these people is that they’re better off living in a strange land where, though they might never become a Dangote or Adenuga, they’re at least certain of basic infrastructure and guaranteed security of their lives and properties. And should they ever be victims of robbery or violence, they’re certain there’s a government that’ll get to the bottom of it, even if they couldn’t prevent it. They’d rather live in a system that works, even if they have to pay a price; even if they have to live with neo-racism and all manners of discrimination
I’d usually argue, blinded by my belief and hope in Nigeria. Usually, we’d end such conversations with me extracting (often under duress) a promise from them to at least visit first and see for themselves how things have changed.
I feel like apologizing right now. These past weeks, I’ve come to realize that I had actually underestimated the chaos and anarchy, the collapse and decay of what we call Nigeria. From recent personal experiences to shared ones, I’ve reached a conclusion that it may actually be better for those not currently here in this madness to stay where they are, while those of us here desperately fix this place or get out. Well, except those that have nine lives.
The tipping point for me was the murder, in broad daylight, of Irawo Adamolekun, on Friday January 11, 2013. I knew the late doctor, having been friends with his elder sister Ojia for some time. The Adamolekuns had lost another son, Imole, about nine years ago, following a car accident. Just like the 2007 death of my friend’s wife, or the shocking death of my father in 2011, many believe these deaths may have been avoided if we had better emergency services in place. And I absolutely agree. Maybe even my mom, who passed on in 2004 after being treated shabbily at the General Hospital in Ikeja, Lagos, might have lived. Just maybe.
Look around you. The stories are everywhere – men shot to death days after their wedding, allegedly by Policemen who should be protecting us all; citizens dying of minor illnesses because of misdiagnosis or fake drugs, hundreds dying in preventable road accidents and air crashes, kidnappers, robbers and bombers operating with reckless abandon, with millions living in fear and hopelessness while the government fumbles and stumbles.
Thanks to Channels TV, we’ve now seen the slum called Police College in Ikeja; where those who are supposed to protect our lives and properties are trained. Actually, that’s the story of every public sector facility, except those fortunate to have been rescued by corporate interventions. And you expect the Police to be your friend? The doctors to save your life?
I actually feel guilty. To think I had been convincing my friends to move back to a place where citizens arrive at emergency scenes faster than emergency teams. Whilst there, those ‘people’ scream and wail, while taking photos with their phones, as others help themselves to victims’ valuables. Those who decide to help usually put dying victims in a run down danfo bus, usually causing more damages all the way. The Police? By the time they leave where they’re playing Baba Ijebu, drinking ‘Shekpe’ or smoking Shisha, all that’s left to do is to clear the debris or join LASTMA in controlling traffic.
If there really was a country, I doubt there’s one now!
27 comments
So sad, I pray Gø̲̣̣̥d̶̲̥̅̊ will redeem this nation.
Nice piece Kunle. I join my voice with yours, let no Nigerian abroad return home to die of road accident, wrong diagnosis, stray bullet, armed robbery, assassination etc. Even the wealthy live in bondage.
Nice article. What more can we do than to pray, pray and pray, that God give us good leaders and also change our attitude as followers to make life better for us all.
That’s it men
I can’t even preach ‘come home’ to anyone these days
I can’t
Nice on bro. God help us all.
Nice one bro.God help us all
May God help Nigerian n the people, let him that want to return think twice. God bless Nigeria.
I appreciate your article mr kunle.. I live in England and I have always thought it a good idea to go back home soon enough.. But I do read the papers online and ” nigerian entertainment today’ on a daily basis and I have realised that the only good news in Nigeria is our young men and women doing great for themselves in the entertainment industry with little or no support from government.. Apart from that, every sector is in a quagmire…. I am not an entertainer neither do I have any talent for showbiz so why shoul I return home.. Thanks Kunle once again for reinforcing my determination to survive here bcos the country “Nigeria is a ticking time bomb” ready to explode.. We pray things get better someday…
Very well said, it is soo scary to say the least when reality hits you that we live in a “jungle”. Our leaders have fallen way bellow expectations and they don’t seem to be bothered. Thinking about it, is it really that difficult to put certain structures in place in our country especially knowing our leaders travel abroad and they see how a country is meant to be, how soo much value is place on human lives and standard of living.
Uhmmmm! This article changed my whole thinking in just a second after reading it through. I live in US, and i have couple of my friends (Oyinbo) that wanna come visiting with me in December and we are planning to stay up to atleast a month but after reading through this article, i cant try it again, and plan canceled right now. Thanks so much
Andrew was check out. Nigeria go better
Ds is a very touching n realistic piece. I’ve missed my faf in naija bt I’ll kum sumday n I pray tins change for good cos its still my home.
The only reason I wish to come home sometimes is because of my family members. After this, there is nothing else attractive to pick in our beloved country. Kunle, you are right about the hustlings abroad but in my opinion, it is better to struggle and earn legitimate money than to steal through offices like our governors, politicians, public and private servants, security agents etc do. The problem with us is that we want to live above our host countries and that’s why many run into problems like drug peddling. That get rich quick mentality is our biggest challenge as resident in our host countries. When you read or hear about what is called an ‘ideal society’, trust me, I can’t guarantee that for Nigeria in the next decade. This is my fifth year abroad but I can authoritatively say that I have become the only source of survival for my family caught in the senseless war in Jos, friends I graduated with from the university who up till now have not been able to get good jobs or loans to start up businesses. No regret though, but just to give you a clear picture of how terrible things are. There is no place like home but only if there is peace in that home. We need genuine deliverance.
Baba,
I read your piece and it wasn’t short of anything Ayeni-written, your writing wits keeps getting smoother by the passing moment like a fine wine. You summed it up succinctly, nothing needs to be added. However I think the one thing missing in our Nigerian society is a value code, respect for our existence first before respect for money, status and power. In the beginning it wasn’t so. Somehow our fathers lost those values passed on to them by their fathers, our grandfathers. Alas the fathers did set their teeth at the edge of a sinful vine and we their sons are devouring with rapt appetite. This attitude is so ingrained in us and it doesn’t matter where you are, a Nigerian is a Nigerian anywhere you find a bunch of us. Attend a party in Houston, Toronto or Peckham and the one in Somolu I bet there isn’t much difference, don’t you ever get it twisted we are the same people anywhere we are, only difference is that for those of us far away from motherland, our consistent contact with non-Nigerian culture rubs off on us, it modifies us a tad little bit but by no ways are we transformed or different. You can remove a Nigerian from Agege but the moment the voice of davido, whizkid or 9ice buzz off the airwaves his Nigerian spirit resurrect into full mode. You just can’t remove Nigeria out of a Nigerian. Aside from Italians I don’t know any other foreign culture that wear their nationality on their sleeves. We are proud, and we won’t change unless we absolutely have to change. We unlike most other people find it easy to ram our culture down other people’s throat, be it our food, our party style, our music, its well documented and all around.
Back to my point, the generation of our fathers lost the value code of their fathers, the Awolowos, Azikwes and the ideals of that generation. That generation placed more emphasis in a good name, education and self sustenance without stealing from the collective treasure. That generation laid emphasis on something you call public goods, common goods….Free Quality education, you could go to Ode-Omu grammar school and still legitimately compete for a scholarship to Harvard, not anymore. Free health care, paid by tax money, or cocoa, oil palm and groundnut money…(I promise I’ll avoid the crude oil discussion). What’s the commonality between cocoa, pea-nut and oil palm?…labour and sweat of our people, from the north to the south south..that generation believed there is dignity in labour, a good name being better than wealth. They didnt lack, they were happy and merry…I enjoyed the music of their times as much as any computer synchronized or software engineered music of our time. Which Yoruba man hears wa fun mi loyan tutu mu doesn’t go wild?
That’s not a common theme now, its each man for himself and get what you can get, where did we get that from?, not British, not Americans….certainly not Europeans who are still fighting to hold on to government run social welfare programs even in a crumbling economy, France, Greece to mention a few.
Don’t get me wrong the west have a lot of their own issues too, but there is always a debate and one man who is willing to say NO, the right thing must prevail…Colorado movie theatre shooting and Newton school shooting, Obama is taking on NRA and the gun rights and saying NO it can’t continue, that’s what gives me a hard-on about these oyinbo people. He is defining his legacy by health care and safer gun free society, Bush for all you care, he laid the ground work for anti-terrorism and education, Clinton by economic prosperity and ……fuck it…lol. What’s more? These leaders still make a wealth for the generations after them without stealing from public fund.
When Nigeria respect a good name, common good, the concept of public good, not just being a “mega big boy” whatever the heck that means, when that time comes when the people have a different core value system, you won’t be the one telling people to come back, the country would even have to issue visa before you get to come back to the land of your fathers. Mind you I didn’t say when opportunities open up or when we have infrastructures, no when we somehow manage to establish a rule of law, respect for human lives, and a truly honor and moral code. The rest will fall in place. If the foundation be destroyed what can the righteous do. I’d rather live in a brick mud house with a rustic roofing sheet with a strong foundation than a mansion that has faulty foundation that wouldn’t stand a earth tremor.
Racism?..You’ve got to be living in a fool’s paradise. Back in 2003 when I wanted to do my industrial attachment at NNPC, it was my fellow Yoruba men who kicked me around because I wanted to come to the table to enjoy too, how can they maintain their class or status when me a small boy too say I belong to where they belong?..Ayeni, i walked into a Hausa man’s office and begged him and stunt like I am brilliant then he let me into the almighty NNPC while my kinsmen would let me waste or close the door in my face. I can live with a caucasian discriminating, what is suicidal is when it comes from your kinsman. So please squash that racist talk. It’s hardly a limiting factor, marginally but not significantly.
You can’t build a house of pretty cards in a stormy weather and that’s always my fear with Nigeria, and like I said it comes down to our value system. I remember you talking about culture shock when I was leaving, weeds, sex, drugs weren’t the shock. Clash of my values with the establish values were the biggest shock. When a professor or government official says I should expect some grade or something in the mail. I don’t believe them, I still go back to check with them if they actually have done so, to me I was coming from a place where when you are told that something will be done, you don’t trust that word or commitment even when it is their job, you have to “follow-up”, those were my initial culture shock. Oh, when they told me this is the rule for everyone submit your assignment by Thursday or this form by Monday or register by Jan 15, my initial thing to do is to ask for what are the exception, how can that rule be bend or break…That’s how my society molded me, those are the things I have to learn to drop fast, and i am still learning to drop them.
Should i fail, or have a mid-life crisis as can be somewhat reasonably expected, there is a system that supports you, if you were to lose your job it doesn’t spell doom, matter of fact it’s an opportunity for you to clear your head and reevaluate your life, you have an employment insurance for a period of time to figure things out, to either get another job or another training. Those are values, common good, and public good, yes in a capitalist North America. I am confident that i don’t need to be middle class to even afford my kids quality education or feed them or if they convulse that it won’t be a kiss of death. I value life and sanctity of life, no I don’t but the society I live keeps me in line, if I was to do otherwise, they society will take my child away from me, i might have seared that life but that doesn’t give me the sole control of that life, its everyone’s responsibility. I have to bring a dear friend back home in the nearest future and she almost won’t come if I can’t ensure some mobile police protection like the one afforded to Chris Brown when he was there in December for fear of being kidnapped. I have to treat that information more sensitive like it was a Prince Harry going on a tour of duty in Afghanistan..What have we done to ourselves, this is not the country that was bequeathed to us by our grandfathers.
See people oo….Una country no be Afganistan, Iraq, Sudan, North Korea Pakistan oooooh. Una country na one and only 9ja. So if una like make una no return again…..who go miss una self. Our worst enemy now na Overpopulation. With the size of our small country and 160 million human beings, na wetin una dey expect? Na so Oyibo people dey born born children wey dem no get power to train? When men and woman abuse their freedom of procreation by giving birth to too many children per family what will happen to their standard of living? Everything you blame on the government as if Nigeria is communist country. Every ones poverty or hard life has its root in his own family history.
I even wonder why someone would hurriedly jump and start comparing Nigeria with the countries of their colonial masters. Remember say una fore fathers no invent writing or the wheel. We are still a backward country not only economically, but socially, mentally and culturally. This is not your making or any other person’s fault. Na only time go cure these anomalies so do not feel sorry for your homeland.
After all those people that you claim are making the country a terrible place to live in are some of your grand fathers, fathers and mothers, Uncles, brothers and sisters, In-laws and extended family relations. You are all therefore must be carrying these same crude culture within wherever you are…….and where are you….United Kingdom, United States, Germany, France etc I tell you all, despite their long history of civilization, Road accident still occur there, Armed robbery, homelessness, kidnapping, rape, murder, mental rot, and all social vices are taking place there. So if you no want return home na you sabi….and of course wetin dey actually keep you away dey your mind….
I commend you on this article.
There was a young man, who worked really hard in Nigeria. He wanted to live a good life but it wasn’t coming forth. The young man decided to embark on a trip to Australia for studies and Job hunting. This young man worked and studied. He was living comfortably even though he could only work for 20 hrs. He completed a Degree in IT, got a good job with a telecommunication company, got married to an Australian and they now have a baby girl. This young man has bought a house for his family ( Mortgage payment ), Set up a haulage business in Nigeria, driving a BMW X6, treated as a first class citizen in Australia, have a free medical assistance. has access to Bank loan etc. All in 3 years. Did i hear you say council flat?? Did i hear you say return to Nigeria?? Did i hear you say my wife and baby should drive on those death trap roads? Or, is it that i am Lucky?? Hmmmmmm I can only conclude that Nigeria is a ZOO 🙂
No place like home, but I hate this home
Hi Kunle, this article is thought provoking. For me, it raise d silent question of Nigeria: to be or not to be? Those souls and victims are the many sacrifices for d Nigerian project.
May God save our generation so that the Nigerian boat is not rocked when we get to rule the country because our experiences will surely hunt our generation. Too many negative experience in our coming of age. However, let’s hope tomorrow will be better.
Very well written, I still have friends running here (to the UK) even though the Government is bent on closing its borders at all cost. The rot and decadence in the Nigerian economy keeps getting worse by the day.
It’s no longer about prayers for the Nation! It’s about a set of people, leaders with a vision for a New Nigeria, Ghana’s doing exactly that at the moment, re-building and re-branding themselves.
With the current crop of “Uneducated fools” we call leaders, NIGERIA IS NOTHING BUT A LAUGHABLE JOKE!
What about dis-integration?
Honestly, the situation in this country is really devastating. We need God’s intervention.
@jide sotunbo..God bless my brother until our moral values are reshaped …then my sojourn in diaspora now 7yrs n still counting might contemplate naijas comeback…u succinctly put it in d right perspectives cost my culture shock here in Australia seemed a bit similar ,how I was brought up by my country in unruly manners and made to carry same down here but to my amazement their yes means yes no means no because every sector is highly organised n.b rest assured ur mails get delivered as its d norm in civilized societies …sometimes I doubt them very much like u lol ..but d cross we need to carry on so as to purge ourselves of that neglect years of lawlessness and can only keep up with d learning process for our good n maybe just maybe replicate same back home…till then hope the worship of ego n Mega money mentality is put to shame in our present daily lives..God bless naija…
The problem we are having here in Nigeria is we ourselves. We have to change our attitudes towards this country 1st. Most of us are pessismitic about this country, cursing ourselves every day. Nigerians should realise that the problem is not Nigeria but the individuals in it. Individuals that would loots our money, individuals that distroys the little we manage to get from this country. Selfish individuals. Till we start to show love to this country we can’t fight this individuals and nothing can ever change. Nigeria is no one’s property, it belongs to all of us. So its time to rebuild or broken home, but 1st we have to wash our cloths and see we’re not stained with the guilt we fight against. Be good yourself. Lets learn from China, lets learn from the US. God bless us all…
Moereal67@yahoo.com
guy no where is safe,in America people die everyday from phsycos weilding automatic rifles-the world is a crazy place today,we all are just waiting-a grave catastrophe is about to envelope our world-world war 3.isreal will release its barrage of missiles against iran and all hell will let loose.no where is safe brother.
I am a Nigerian, i lived all my lives in Nigeria. I have travelled abroad once, and then i have the opportunity of running away, but i did not cos i am playing good Nigerian hoping the situation will beta one day. But i must tell you, thats was greatest mistake of my LIFE.
When i graduated from the university, after 3 years of no JOB, someone fooled me to further more for MSc, to get a beta job, after my MSc, things still remain the same, NO JOB.
I dont want to die without having a child, i did a mini wedding, hoping to do a normal wedding one day, gave birth to a Son, fed my family with peanuts i picked from the streets, even right now, we only have 100 naira left with us for the breakfast. Thanks to the WiFi from a neighbour that enable my internet conectivity via my CHINCO phone.
If anybody dares preach to me that i should stay in this naija, i will reign a generational CURSE on the fellow, cos right now, any time i wake in the night to see my wife and son in this conditions, sleep does not come again, cos i never expect them to be in this situation.
But i thank God for giving us good health, cos without God, noBODY.
Pls, i need a link to get out of this country, i dont mind to work in a cafeteria, so as long i can feed my family, better health for my family, better education for my Children, safe place free of insecurity. I dont fancy plenty money cos i came with none to this world and i know i will never leave with any.
GOD HELP ME, Amen
It’s very saddening to me when I hear Nigerians talk about our country’s problem, the full depth of decadence and all, but end the conversation or “ranting” with “we need God’s deliverance” or “God dey” or “only God can come and save us.” When will our eyes be opened to see that this “day of deliverance” will never come until we stand up against the highly placed enemies of this country. This problem existed decades ago and has only gotten worse with time because Nigerians, for some sad and annoying reason, feel like some deity or divinity will come and change things for us. Well, hear what the deity has to say to you today, “I ain’t coming to do sh*t for y’all.” The control of the mind of millions and billions is what the few who are “powerful” use to continue to perpetuate their evil. They do it so well that our people cannot see that it’s in their hands to change things. It’s eaten so deep in heart of Nigerians that “God will do it.” Reinforcement by churches and mosques and whatever other religious beliefs exist out there in Nigeria that “God sees and will change it for us” is one of the worst things that EVER happened to our beautiful country. Aren’t all these so-called religious leaders balling? Come on, y’all. They getting all the “givings” in the holy house and balling. But yet tell the hungry and helpless to bring more until this “change by God arrives.” I’m done here. It’s so painful to see how Nigerians are turned into zombies; feeling helpless when it’s in their power to change their country. I’m outta here, man!
I am worried, having gone through your piece. Why? Nigeria is an envolving state like the U S and U K in the 1930s with the Italian Mafia holding sway, still the U S records a homicide case every five minutes daily, presently! Perhaps we need to partner on this issue, because Nigeria is our stake.Wake up,’ Kunle, there is no bed of roses anywhere, that’s reality for you. Let’s discuss one on one this issue please.