Being Nigerian is not easy at all! It takes solid hard work and an unrivaled sense of identity. When they invented “Naija no dey carry last!”, it wasn’t about skin colour or attitude. It is a thing of pride and ‘stress’ that seep through all our veins. You can’t explain it, but you can always tell a “Naija-rian”, whether you are in Bronx, New York or Dakar. Despite the different tribes we have in Nigeria, our uniqueness sets us apart. So if you haven’t experienced any of these, sorry you are not Nigerian enough. Yes, we said it! And we will lend you to a neigbouring country. Lol.
Here are some ingredients that make this Nigerian soup sweet:
Let me start with tech related matters.
Wazzap and Facebook: Well, it’s Whatsapp, but put your hands up if you have heard any person from age 50 upwards call this like it should be called. We have heard ‘wazzap’, ‘wuzup’ ‘watzhap’. And it’s everybody’s go-to site, whether it’s the dreaded family Whatsapp group, to the cute bridesmaid and groom’s men’s group, or the study buddy group.
Now, when was the last time your mother, father or uncle sent you one ‘ghen ghen’ Facebook message/story about the end of the world, or one unbelievable disease from Facebook. It’s always so over the top. But it’s fun banter na. You laugh and move over to the next big thing on social media. Besides it’s good bonding too.
Now, there are even ways to make sure that ‘bonding time’ is done with sense and less data. (Don’t ever say we didn’t save your life). Head to the “settings” section in your WhatsApp app, Choose “Data and Storage Usage”. Then select Media Auto Download option and select “When Using Mobile Data” and switch it to “No Media”. Money saved, data saved and you can be receiving end of the world texts, and even crazier Nigerian stories.
Naija’s Slay Maddame: Who’s Kylie? What’s 1 Billion dollars? Our slay queens are like no other. Owambe ‘parries’ are building an industry. The world should just wait. The world will not understand the things we will use this instagram to create. Those that are not slaying are buiding mini business empires. And better still, there is gist on using less data with the app too. Click top right (Three horizontal lines) on the app. Open Instagram options and go to Settings. Then select Mobile Data Use and tick ‘Use Less Data’. Finito. With this, slay mamas and business gurus can conquer the world.
Naija Driving: That we use the British style of driving (left hand) is no surprise; what is a surprise is how we drive, especially those who live in Lagos! We are always in a hurry. We drive like we have an appointment that we don’t want to miss, though we are the kings of “African Time”. Have you seen how people react when you attempt to overtake them on the road? “They behave as if you want to overtake their destiny.” (Someone described it that way – no be me talk am o).
Aso-Ebi: Remember the parlance ‘no ankara no semo’? It simply shows how far we love to distinguish ourselves. No matter where we are in the world, whatever the occasion, Nigerians will show you their colours, literally. You can always spot the Nigerian in the audience. Even the mo gbo mo ya, will not be left out!
Nigerian Cuisines: We love and make good meals in Nigeria. A meal that has set Nigeria apart and even gotten featured on CNN is the Nigerian Jollof rice. That steamy meal is a must at any Nigerian party. Who doesn’t understand the language of rice on Sunday?
Designer Phone Calls: You are wondering what’s that. We aren’t talking of “ajebutter phone calls o.” We are talking of the loud, dramatic; “tell-the-world-your-business” phone calls that attract attention in busses, bus stops, in the offices (sometimes). Lol. You aren’t Nigerian if you don’t have a colourful experience of this.
But on a more serious note, whether it’s our smartness and figuring out how to do more with less as offered by one of the network providers, or rule the Naija Diva scene or WhatsApp, being Nigerian is a full time job mehn!
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