I would rather cry in a BMW

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  • Or a Ferrari, or Mercedez. Just not 'okada' and such.

A man (unemployed at the time) had asked a woman out on a date, saying if she would ride a bicycle with him.

She had replied him, ‘I would rather cry in a BMW.’ in 2010 on a TV show in China.

That response soon became the go-to line for many (young) Nigerian women when turning down a male suitor who did not suit the picture they have of their ideal man.

SEE: Raped by their relatives, violated by strangers: These women’s accounts of their experiences with men will break your heart!

As these things go, it bore variants and we were soon hearing ‘I’d rather cry in a Ferrari than smile in a Keke [tricycle],’ but the idea remained the same.

She will say if you’re poor, mister man, don’t spoil my greatness, just leave my presence.

For some however, it soon became a representation of what they would rather endure in a relationship – bringing us to abuse suffered by women in relationships.

READ: Nigerian celebs campaign against domestic violence

But here’s the thing, in spite of all of us going on and on about how men should not beat women and how women in abusive relationships should speak up; there would still be some who would still rather cry in a Lamborghini than, pretty much, whatever else is on offer – keke, okada, danfo, whatever.

I believe it’s part of a mindset created more by conditions in our environment than how such women who believe so were raised.

But on the latter point, the recent incidences of injuries, failed marriages and unfortunate deaths from abusive relationships/domestic violence makes it pertinent to raise young men such that the mantra, ‘don’t beat a woman’ is firmly planted in them.

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That way, if a woman happens not to mind crying in a Mercedez just so she doesn’t have to deal with Legedez, at least the man she finds herself won’t be a Sandile Mantsoe.

He’ll simply be the owner of a Mercedez; your very own Yoruba demon (that’s another problem to ponder over on another day).

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